Imagine There Were No Love Songs

Put yourself in this scene. You meet that person that you can't stop thinking about. You feel all mushy inside, as if the warmth of their smile melted your very bones.

You're walking on clouds, and you feel like singing.

But there are no love songs.

You hear the music, but the words are all wrong. The song is about someone else. The voice is not yours.

That's how it was growing up gay. 

And that is why Steve Grand is one of my heroes. He's not the first openly gay music artist. As I write this, I am listening to Naked Truth, an album by actor, musician, and AIDS activist, Keith Christopher. (1957-1998) Naked Truth was a profound inspiration for me at a time in my life that was filled with isolation and uncertainty. 

Last summer, Steve Grand released a self produced music video of his original song, All American Boy, and the video went viral. I posted my initial thoughts about it on this blog as well. 

There is a painful truth to the video, but the beauty of this production is that I can relate. (as the blog post indicates, a little too painfully close.)  His later single, Stay, is much more of an upbeat love song. 

And there is so much more that I look forward to seeing and hearing from this great performer.

That is why I am asking you to join me in supporting the Steve Grand All American Boy album project on Kickstarter. 

(image from Kickstarter) 

Click the link above or here to watch Steve Grand tell you about the journey from uploading his first video, the response to it, and how he is continuing to bring honest music that speaks to those who have had no love songs for so long. At any time during the video, click on the "K" kickstarter icon in the upper left to sign up and donate. 

 

Should I Boycott My Own State?

This thought has been simmering in my head for a while.

With Arizona poised to be the target of an LGBT Boycott as a result of anti-gay legislation, I've taken the time to think about whether such a thing is needed in Wisconsin.

Yesterday I wrote a post supporting actor and activist George Takei's call for a boycott of Arizona if Governor Brewer signs SB106. The bill which was passed by the state Legislature is a measure that would remove public accommodation protections for LGBT people (or anyone else, for that matter) if the person or business discriminating against them claims a strong religious belief.

During the discussion of this so called "Religious Freedom" act, I received comments from friends who live in Arizona, assuring me that there is strong opposition within the state. As I noted in yesterday's post, State Representative Chad Campbell (D-AZ) pleaded with Takei on MSNBC not to boycott, but rather to "come out here and let's work together, and change this state this year."

I appreciate those friends and lawmakers in Arizona who have fought and continue to fight against prejudice, especially State sanctioned prejudice. But I have to agree with Takei, if the bill is signed, a boycott is inevitable. Now, personally, I have not had Arizona on my travel radar to begin with, apart from wanting to see the Grand Canyon before I die, and making vague references to going someplace warmer when Wisconsin is frozen solid. Of course I feel for those friends who may have to deal with a suffering economy if tourism in Arizona drops because of the state's legalized bigotry.

Now, what to do about Wisconsin?

Wisconsin is not considering the type of measure that Arizona passed, or that is being proposed in Georgia. However, since 2006, we have had an amendment in our our state constitution banning same sex marriage. This amendment is being used to contest the limited benefit couples have in this state through domestic partnerships. The ACLU has recently filed suit on behalf of four couples seeking to have their marriage recognized. State Representative JoCosta Zamarippa (D-WI) and Senator Tim Carpenter (D-WI) have introduced legislation to repeal the anti-gay amendment. We are the first state to oppose the ban through legislative action, a move that some of my Republican friends have said should be the approach instead of working through "activist judges". Unfortunately, this effort is meeting with 100% opposition from Wisconsin's Republican legislators. No surprise, actually.

Perhaps a boycott here would put pressure on the state to change. But how does one boycott it's own state? Here's where I feel the pain of friends living in Arizona. For my idea to work, I would have to put myself in the midst of the boycott. As things start to get warmer in Wisconsin (let's start with mid to upper 30's and work up from there) the Hospitality Industry will be kicking into high gear. That's where I work. But that's also the industry that houses the main target my proposed boycott - Wedding Venues.

With Illinois, Iowa, and Minnesota recognizing same-sex relationships, I am encouraging all couples (LGBT and Straight alike) to hold their celebrations outside of Wisconsin. In the early days when marriage equality was moving forward, couples from Wisconsin would travel to Massachusetts or even cross into Canada to get married. They would then come home and have a local celebration, rather than impose on relatives and friends to travel in order to celebrate with them. The result was that Wisconsin got income for a wedding that it provides no benefit for.

That is about to end. With three neighboring states recognizing same sex couples for civil marriage, there is no reason to hold a celebration in a state that opposes the relationship you are celebrating. If your friends truly support and want to celebrate your marriage, they can make the short trip to do it right. There was once a movement, particularly among celebrities - and of those most notably Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, refusing to get married until it's legal for everyone. For many, I think that sacrifice is no longer necessary. By all means, get married, get lower taxes, (perhaps contribute a portion to a marriage equality campaign or foundation) and protect your relationship, inheritance, etc. Just make sure that you are bringing your wedding business to a state that supports equality for all.

It's a Dry Hate

The state of Arizona passed a measure that would allow businesses to refuse service or accommodations based on religious freedom. It passed both the state Senate and state House. Now two questions remain.

1. Will Governor Jan Brewer sign or veto the bill?
2. If the Governor signs the bill into law, what happens next?

Pressure is on Governor Brewer already from both side. Surprisingly, some of the pressure to veto the bill is coming from Republican Senators who originally voted for the bill. 

There is also opposition to the bill from businesses in the state. A statement from the NFL declined to comment on whether next year's Superbowl will be moved from Arizona if the law passes, but did express the organization's strong opposition to discrimination. The last time the Super Bowl was moved for political reasons was in the late 1980's, when Arizona lost the privilege of hosting the game by refusing to observe the Martin Luther King holiday. 

One voice that is getting a lot of attention is George Takei. In a blog post entitled, "Razing Arizona"  Takei calls for a boycott if the bill becomes law in Arizona. 

"If your Governor Jan Brewer signs this repugnant bill into law," Takei says, "make no mistake. We will not come. We will not spend. And we will urge everyone we know–from large corporations to small families on vacation–to boycott. Because you don’t deserve our dollars. Not one red cent."

The title of this post started out as a simple quip on facebook, and I got some responses from friends in The Grand Canyon State.  

The (presumably photo-shopped) sign reads: 

"Welcome To Arizona - We're Not All Assholes"

Likewise, when Takei was interviewed on The Last Word on MSNBC, Arizona State Representative Chad Campbell (D), who opposed the bill also entered a plea to Takei not to boycott the state, because there are so many people in Arizona who oppose the bill.

Takei's response is amazing. It happens at about  the 8 minute mark in the video. 

Of course we want to support those Arizona businesses that oppose SB 1062. But as George says, we mean it. If that bill is signed, Arizona is blacklisted. 

Now, Takei did express that he would support Campbell's continued efforts if the law is passed. But he is serious about no longer staying or spending money in Arizona, and if the state loses the Super Bowl again, it would send a strong message. 

Of course, for some people, avoiding the state entirely may not be reasonable. Family, job or other considerations might keep them there, or require a visit from time to time. For those, I recommend searching online to find businesses that do not discriminate, and even welcome LGBT customers. Check the HRC Equality Index (http://www.hrc.org/campaigns/corporate-equality-index) Fortunately, there is information out there, and if this law goes into effect, you can bet that there will be groups keeping record of companies that refuse to serve anyone, hiding behind religious freedom to cover their bigotry. 

There's one thing they haven't considered. The bill says that a business cannot be sued for refusing service to someone who is LGBT. It does not cancel freedom of speech the other way. That business would still be subject to being picketed, boycotted, or publicly listed as discriminating against LGBT customers. And that's if they're lucky. Look what happened to racist, anti-gay restaurant owner Gary James. 

Michael Sam Shows His True Colors, Soon, the NFL Will Too.

Some call it a bold move, some call it career suicide. Michael Sam, Defensive Lineman for the University of Missouri came out as gay. 

As always, discussions on facebook ranged in opinion. As with Jason Collins, who has not been signed in the NBA since he came out, people say that Sam's record isn't strong enough to ensure his being drafted.  What they seem to be saying is that if he's not picked, it won't be because he came out.  Or it's because of the media focus his presence would bring, not because he's gay.  

Not being an expert on football statistics, (my team placed 4th out of 6 teams in Fantasy Football this year) I will defer to those more "in the know" regarding what may or may not be the cause of Michael Sam being picked or not.  But, I kind of call bullshit on the basis of timing.  He was projected to be a "mid to late round pick" which means he was expected to at least be picked.  If he's not, I'm still going to think that it was more "eww, he's gay" than, "oh no, we'll have reporters on our doorstep."  

Laura Clawson, on the Daily Kos, refers to such answers as "a polished way of defending bigotry"specifically in regards to the "media frenzy" excuse. She cites the following quote that first appeared (to my knowledge) on SI.com.  

 "I don't think football is ready for [an openly gay player] just yet. In the coming decade or two, it's going to be acceptable, but at this point in time it's still a man's-man game. To call somebody a [gay slur] is still so commonplace. It'd chemically imbalance an NFL locker room and meeting room."

This statement is attributed to a player personnel assistant in the NFL.  All participants in the S.I. article were granted anonymity so they would speak freely.  Based on this statement, we don't need to wait until the drafts to know that anti-gay prejudice is alive and thriving in the NFL.  A gay player isn't acceptable but calling someone a "faggot" is commonplace?  It sounds like they already know it's a problem, and their answer is to put the blame on a player who comes out, rather than deal with it.  

The same combination of excuses were used to explain the Minnesota Vikings letting go of Chris Kluwe.  "He's only a punter, and didn't do as much this season," along with "he's drawing too much media attention."  Now, given the amount of money spent on advertising and merchandising, in what other case has the NFL been worried about "too much" media attention?  If it's a superstar, even the media frenzy of a felony conviction won't phase them.  But supporting gay marriage?  Can't have that.  In Kluwe's case, it's his word against the mangers' and coaches'.  I tend to think Chris Kluwe has more integrity.  

It's interesteing that there aren't any "indispensable" players coming out or showing support for LGBT issues.  Could it be that no one is safe if they come out?  

Michael Sam's coming out is being written as a challenge.  Can the NFL avoid drafting Sam without looking prejudiced?  I think it's already clear that prejudice and bigotry exist there.  Instead, this should be an opportunity for the NFL to catch up with the rest of us.  Even their advertisers are opening up to gay audiences and being more affirming.  Will the NFL pay attention?