Why I Still Am Not Giving To The Salvation Army This Year

The Joy of Giving

This time last year, it was an easy decision. But this year it’s more difficult. I remember it being as much a part of my childhood holidays as the lights, the food, and presents. We’d be approaching a store and hear the ringing bell. Mom would find some change in her purse and we kids would get to put the money in the pretty red kettle. They were metal back then, and made a satisfying jingle when the coins fell in.

I also remember how much it changed the first time I gave my “own” money instead of getting some from Mom. Later, Mom said she was proud, but I felt the difference even before that. I somehow knew that the smile and the “Thank you, God bless you,” was coming not only from the bell ringer, but from all of the people helped by Salvation Army.

I felt good about giving, even more so about actually giving from my own. I also felt a bit scorning and judging anyone who complained about the presence of the bell ringers. I was hardly kinder to those who just walked past. I hadn’t yet heard the lesson of “judge not, lest ye be judged” apparently. Who was I to judge? Maybe those people complaining had been to multiple stores before pushing through frantic crowds, and were just venting a misguided frustration over the day in general.  Maybe those people walking past had scraped and saved to buy something meaningful for a loved one, and truly had nothing to spare. Maybe they gave at previous location, or intended to give on the way out. I don’t know. Perhaps those people were gay or lesbian, and while very charitable in their lives, refused to support this particular organization, as I currently do.

Hurt and Rejection

Some of the stories I hear are anecdotal, such as certain locations having required gay people to attend ex-gay ministries as a condition of receiving aid. While it is not an official policy, I personally believe that some locations enforced this, because they believed that the person’s sexuality, like a drug habit or other “choice”, was the cause of their misfortune. Maybe they thought they were getting to the root of the problem. Maybe they were simply putting judgment over compassion. Again, I don’t know.

The more active I became in gay rights, the more I found out about Salvation Army’s anti-gay stance. It didn't make headlines, but I read a lot of LGBT news outlets, and more than a few opposing views as well. While Salvation Army does have gay employees, they refused coverage to same-sex partners. They oppose gay marriage, and have in the past, sought exemptions to equal rights legislation, going so far as to threaten to close their soup kitchens in New York City if they were forced to treat gay employees equally. The conservative outlets supported Salvation Army's stand for religious freedom.

My argument was never against Salvation Army’s right to hold and express their religious views. However, I did feel it necessary to share with friends and caring family that Salvation Army supports views that I find harmful, and I ask them not to support that organization financially. Be assured, I did not tell anyone to stop giving to charity, just to direct their contributions elsewhere. My past alternatives for donating include Feeding America, The AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin, and the Ali Forney Center (New York). Ali Forney was a particularly appropriate alternative. They provide shelter and assistance to LGBT homeless youth, many of whom are homeless due to being disowned or pressured out of the home by religious families. There’s more on that later.

The boycott of Salvation Army became a two way struggle, with Christians accusing gays of allowing people to suffer for political reasons. I repeat that no one is saying to let the poor suffer, just to let other organizations be the ones to get the donation. The other common criticism against the boycott was that it was an attack on religious freedom. I’ll risk being redundant and say again that Salvation Army has a right to their beliefs, and the right to express their beliefs. Likewise, LGBT people, their friends, and allies have the right to give their money to a group more aligned with their truths and values.

A change seems to be happening lately. It followed a galvanizing event after a radio interview on the Australian program, Salt and Pepper http://joy.org.au/saltandpepper/ in June of 2012. The interview of Salvation Army Australia’s Media Relations Director, Major Andrew Craibe by Serena Ryan and Pete Dillon was virally reported on as “Salvation Army Says Gays Should Be Put to Death.”  Snopes.com has a fair review of the interview at http://www.snopes.com/politics/sexuality/salvationarmy.asp rating the headline as a "Mixtue" of truth and exaggeration. Having listened to the recording, I agree that the headline is exaggerated, and somewhat designed to sensationalize. However, the interview did reveal an anti-gay trend in the Salvation Army, including the harmful teaching that homosexuality is a choice.

Central to the implication that Salvation Army called for the death penalty was a question about the reference to Romans 1: 18-32 in the Handbook of Doctrine. The referenced scripture includes admonitions against men who “abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. “ (1:27 NIV) and concludes that “Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. “ (1:32 NIV) When asked by Serena Ryan whether this means the Salvation Army feels that gays should be put to death, Craibe did not directly say that this was the case, but he asserted, “We have an alignment with the scripture.” Now, the handbook itself does not make a decree stating that gays deserve death. It simply lists the reference for readers to find and interpret for themselves.

A later response (quoted in the Snopes article) from the organization following the reaction to this interview contends that “The author is arguing that no human being is without sin, all sin leads to spiritual death (separation from God), and all people therefore need a Saviour(sic).”  In other words, in this case, the Bible is not to be taken literally. Apparently it’s literal when it supports a political position, but metaphorical or “spiritual” when the literal translation makes Christians look bad. The problem with this “clarification” is that it apparently is not understood that way. Even their Media Relations Director was not prepared to answer the question, and the more compassionate interpretation came after the fact. (and after the backlash) So how is the average member reading the handbook supposed to arrive at this conclusion? After all, isn’t the “author” God himself? Isn't it heresy to suggest that it was written by men? I’m sorry. I do not accept that clarification, but if that is the case, you've had more than 2 years since the backlash to add that clarification to the handbook. As of this writing, the latest edition of the Salvationist Handbook (available in pdf through a google search) dates back to 2010, and hasn't changed.

Salvation Army is Changing…Kind Of

The website www.SalvationArmyUSA.org now has a page addressing the relationship between S.A. and the LGBT Community. It highlights the fact that LGBT people are not being turned away and receive aid as everyone else.  In employment, they assert “Our hiring practices are open to all, and we adhere to all relevant employment laws, providing domestic partner benefits accordingly.”  Let me first address the latter. What this statement says is that they will provide spousal or domestic partner benefits only when required to by law. Their doctrine maintains that sexual intimacy is to remain within the bonds of heterosexual marriage only.

My strongest objection to this attempt to win back LGBT donations is their highlighting of the same few testimonials on different regions’ websites as proof that they are welcoming LGBTs. Now that takes chutzpah. Opening your doors to LGBT people is not the same as welcoming them. These testimonials are adults with different backgrounds than many homeless LGBT youth.  Only one of the video testimonials makes mention of not being accepted by family. In reality, many LGBT youths are homeless because of rejection by family. Their parents either kick them out directly, or make life so miserable that they end up running away.  The reason the parents do this is because they think they are doing the godly thing by opposing the child’s “choice” to be gay. They get this idea from Bible, in some cases, the very scripture quoted in the Salvation Army’s handbook.

Imagine being thrown out or run out of your home because of your parents' beliefs. Would you feel safe and “welcomed” at a place that is saturated with scripture? It can be uncomfortable or downright hostile to someone whose life was torn apart because of a strong adherence to scripture.

I am disappointed that they trying to wash away harm done in the past by saying that they “never” discriminated. Are they denying that any LGBT person was ever made to feel unwelcome, or was ever preached to or referred to conversion therapy? To say that the accusations against them are all falsehoods is a broad claim of innocence. 

One thing that does give me hope is the outreach that I’ve seen to the LGBT Community in general and continuing discussion that I’m told is happening within the organization. It was my pleasure this past year to work with Steve Yoder of the Salvation Army whose involvement with the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center was my first interaction with Salvation Army in many years. Steve’s blog (http://littlemanyoda.blogspot.com/) will give you more about his efforts and approach. I am thankful for the dialogue that has started between us. For the first time in years, I considered going back on my resolve not to give to Salvation Army

But I can’t. Not yet. Probably not ever. There are still issues, as I mentioned, in the teachings.  They seem to promote the mantra of “love the sinner, hate the sin.” They still consider us sinners, which is judging. To say they only hate the sin is a false compassion, because what they call sin is who we are. Wherever hate is, there cannot be unconditional love. While other organizations and people in general are moving toward fully accepting, even embracing LGBT people, the Salvation Army is pushing hard to convince people that they are tolerant. They are still way behind, and still firmly on the wrong side of history. This is not a challenge to the Salvation Army to do more. I honestly believe that there will always be a charity that I more strongly support. There are places like the Ali Forney Center, where LGBT are not simply “tolerated” but accepted as a full being, deserving of all the joys of life, and not having to “embrace celibacy”.

In short, even in their current outreach and denial of their anti-gay stances, Salvation Army has not won back my willingness to donate to them.

I would make a suggestion, though, if the Salvation Army is sincere in wanting to equally help LGBT people in need. They need to address the core problem of much of the LGBT homelessness, and that is the rejection from religious family. Instead of just giving aid to homeless youth, they need to send a message to parents that it is not OK to kick out your kids for being gay, or to make life so miserable for them that they leave.  I would love for this to be the result of S.A. accepting what the rest of society has come to understand; that homosexuality is not a choice. I do not see this happening, however, because it contradicts their scriptural foundation. It would at least be a step in the right direction, though, for them to promote the message to parents that their responsibility to shelter and raise their children is more important than “fixing” them.

I am somewhat encouraged that the Salvation Army is making an effort to not discriminate, and by the outreach and dialogue that has begun. But at the core of Salvation Army is a doctrine with which I cannot reconcile. I may be willing to lighten up in my own judgments. After all, I have a little niece who asks for coins to drop in the buckets when we approach a store. Usually she asks her mom, so I am off the hook. I would oblige her though, because I want her to know that same feeling I had at her age. Unfortunately, the dull thud of the new plastic kettles will not be the only disappointment I feel. That’s the best that Salvation Army can expect from me. As I said before, I respect their right to have and express their beliefs. They will just be doing it without my financial support.

Additional links

Call for boycott, history of discrimination

http://www.bilerico.com/2011/11/why_you_shouldnt_donate_to_the_salvation_army_bell.php

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/zinnia-jones/the-salvation-armys-histo_b_4422938.html

Responses from Salvation Army 

http://salvationarmynorth.org/about-us/what-we-believe/debunking-the-lgbt-discrimintation-myth/

http://salvationarmyusa.org/usn/nodiscrimination

Tolerance vs. Acceptance

http://www.diverseandresilient.org/work/acceptance/acceptance-journeys/

Alternatives to donate to:

http://www.aliforneycenter.org/

http://www.feedingamerica.org/

In Milwaukee and Wisconsin

Hunger Taskforce: www.hungertaskforce.org/

AIDS Resrouce Center of Wisconsin: www.arcw.org/support-arcw/

Milwaukee LGBT Community Center: www.mkelgbt.org/

Diverse and Resilient: www.diverseandresilient.org/

Pathfinders (Q-BLOK): http://pathfindersmke.org/

Domino!

A lot happened recently. The job I've been working at as a temp has become a permanent job with benefits! This past week was the most hours I've put in there for some time. Our cafeteria does special menus in recognition of Milwaukee's various ethnic festivals, and this week, for the first time, they did a rainbow cake at dessert in celebration of Pridefest. 

My 4 year old niece also graduated from pre-school, complete with cap and gown.

And I had been following the developments in a rather important court case going on in Wisconsin. 

As I was waiting for my niece to come parading into the room with her classmates, I go to silence my phone, and there's a text from a co-worker who knew I was following the case. 

"Looks like they might have struck down WI gay marriage ban."

I texted a few other friends and learned that the decision had been announced, and was on the news. So, after congratulating my niece, I came back to my computer to see what all was going on. 

I also did probably my first true Vaguebooking. My first social media post on the subject was a single word, "Domino." Hopefully you get the image of the little blocks that you line up and tip over. That's the image I am now seeing as state after state knocks down bans on same sex marriage. 

I almost want to thank the bigots for setting up these little dominoes just so we can watch them fall - and watch politicians who made promises to bigoted zealots now rush to defend unconstitutional laws. But I won't thank them. As great a show as this is, these laws have kept loving committed couples from their partners hospital beds. They've made it difficult for people to provide healthcare for their loved ones, or to leave them with a good future in the event that one dies. 

I truly hope that Wisconsin's change can fuel the momentum across the country. Let's get this done! 

Fan Base Unity

One year ago today, I started a fan group on facebook called Princess Bride Fansfor Mawwage Equality. It was at a time when many facebook users were setting their profile picture to the red box with a white "equal" sign, which was a variation on the Human Rights Campaign logo. This symbol was a show of support for overtuning the Defense of Marriage Act and Proposition 8 (CA) which was the subject of hearings in the U.S. Supreme Court.

And many of my geek friends supporting equal opportunity quoted the line, "Mawwage! Mawwage is what bwings us togevah, today."  It started out a a bit of fun, but has become a group where I can post updates and news related to gay marriage in a context that is fun and entertaining.

Since the page started, we’ve seen more states step up and offer equal marriage rights to same sex couples than in any other year to date. Utah and Michigan are still going through some legal jumping jacks with those states appealing the decisions that struck down their bans on gay marriage.

Also, in that time, California made it back on the list, when the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear an appeal of the Federal Court decision striking down Proposition 8, which halted marriages in that state.

“But most importantly of all,” we’ve learned that the Supreme Court itself has declared a portion of DOMA unconstitutional. [I know I'm crossing references here, but I'm confident most of you will get it.] The decisions made by the Supreme Court made it possible for many of the states striking down their own bans.

And here, in Wisconsin, marriage equality in this decade seemed inconceivable because of a constitutional ban on same sex marriage, enacted in 2006. It was a step backward for a state that had previously been strong on gay rights. I will continue to point out that Wisconsin was the first state to prohibit job discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

Last month, Wisconsin Senator, Tim Carpenter (D) and Representative, JoCosta Zamarripa (D) sponsored a bill to repeal the 2006 amendment.  This put Wisconsin back in the lead, at least in terms of effort. We were the first state to attempt to repeal a marriage ban through the Legislature. The bill was defeated by a partisan vote.

So now, Wisconsin's chance to be forward again. Last month, actually prior to the legislative push, a lawsuit was filed by the ACLU on behalf of four couples seeking to marry in Wisconsin. The plaintiffs initially filed for a temporary injunction on the ban, which would most likely have been appealed. On the Judge's advice, they withdrew the motion for injunction in favor of a speedier trial. The trial will now begin in 2 days.

And that's where we stand, friends and fans. Equality in Wisconsin was inconceivable. Perhaps, it does not mean what I thought it meant. 

God Hates...Nobody

The news this morning is that Fred Phelps, founder of Westboro Baptist Church, has died.

Reactions and plans are...mixed.

Reports are that he was excommunicated from the Church he founded, a fact that means he may even have been disowned by his family. Ironically, this is something all too familiar to many gay and transgender people, against whom he expressed so much hate over the years. 

I can't say whether the family was all in agreement on the excommunication, since the church maintains confidentiality of church matters. But the fact remains that losing a family member is not easy, so I offer my condolences to the family, whether they want it or not.

Westboro is noted for protesting Military funerals, but started this repugnant practice at the funeral of Matthew Shepard in 1998.

Photo: from The Advocate.com. Friends of Matthew Shepard form an Angelic wall between the Phelps clan and the mourners. 

There have been many people saying things like "I can't wait til he dies so we can protest his funeral" In a strange twist, following Phelps' excommunication, the church has said that they will protest at his funeral. 

The later buzz online has been that many people are planning to show up to show signs of respect, forgiveness, and God's love for everyone. 

I cannot claim to have any respect for the "pastor" of Westboro, nor his clan of hate spreading zealots. But I do hope that the man, who as simply a man after all, has found peace at last. 

Reality Game Show Pitch

Here's a meme I've been seeing pop up on social media. It's a tweet from user Molly Manglewood (@undeadmolly)

I like this idea, and being a gamer, I've come up with some thoughts on how this could become a competitive Reality Show.  Perhaps not to show "how awesome it is" but maybe how "easy" it is. At least how easy they think it is. Yes, this is what goes on in my head sometime. So here is my pitch for a reality TV show based on living a 100% Biblical Life.

Judge Not

Season 1

In this series, a group of Fundamentalist Christians are brought together to live and interact under constant camera observation. Let's call them, "The Devout." The goal is to be the last Devout remaining, by staying sinless yourself, and bringing Judgement upon your opponents. But beware! A contestant may call any Devout to Judgement for breaking any of the laws in the Bible. (any version) If the accusation is true, then "Judgement is Upon" that contestant. One more Judgement will eliminate the player. Now, the trick is that whoever made the Judgement will be reviewed by the Higher Power (a panel of Biblical and Legal experts) and checked against the entirety of whichever version of the Bible was used to judge the opponent. If found to have broken any law, that contestant will have a Judgement placed on them as well.

There is a safety net. A Grace of God, or Salvation, if you will. The complex will have a "Confession" room, or Chapel, where anyone can go to confess any transgression so that they may not be Judged on it. Each week will also begin with an Absolution, meaning that only sins committed in the current episode count. Neither Confession nor Absolution will remove a Judgement that is upon someone, however. The only way to get rid of a Judgement is to Pass the Judgement onto another Devout by making a Judgement, in which case, one also risks getting a new Judgement when weighed by the same measure. 

If no one attempts a Judgement during a week, the panel calls the entire group under review, and decides who has transgressed the worst. However, as with other reality shows, the producers offer rewards for catching sinners and being pure yourself. Based on the real life behavior of most fundamentalists, it is unlikely that one won't be willing to point a finger and assume that he has nothing to hide, so this shouldn't come up. 

As soon as there is only one Devout remaining, that player immediately goes to final judgment, and if also found not to be pure, there is no winner, and no one goes to "Heaven." 

Give Credit Where Due, but No Trophy for GOP.

Following up on my "It's A Dry Hate" post, it is wonderful to know that the end result was a veto of the bill.

There is a part of me that wanted it to go through. Yes, part of me wanted a fight. I have a favorite quote from the Sci-Fi series, Babylon 5, fifth season.

"I have been working up a good mad all day, and I will not let you undermine it by agreeing with me."
-President John Sheridan.

Lucky for me, I had an opportunity to re-direct the "good mad" I had going. Jan Brewer did exactly what she said she would do. She reviewed the bill on her desk, considered the possible outcomes of enacting the law, and vetoed SB 1062 because that was what was best for Arizona. And then, the gay Republicans had the balls to tell me that because of the veto, I should be thankful to the people who passed this piece of shit in the first place!

What did it take to make the veto happen? It took a lot of brave people taking a stand.

In "Dry Hate" I mention George Takei making a call to boycott tourism in Arizona if the bill passes. Response to his blog post indicated that his fans supported the action. Major corporations, including Southwest Airlines, JP Morgan Chase, GoDaddy and Apple, expressed opposition to the bill. Also, activists and regular citizens got the word out against discrimination.

I was relieved to hear that the bill was vetoed, and it was refreshing to hear that Republicans like John McCain and Mitt Romney encouraged Brewer to veto it. But the released statement of Log Cabin Republicans struck me as a huge hypocrisy. It's like a wannabe hero who builds a bomb and threatens the city with, then is lauded as a "hero" when he diffuses his own bomb. Sorry, LCR, but as much as I loved Megamind, this is real life. Or, I should say, these are real lives your party was messing with.

Now, I'll admit that I wasn't as focused on the outcome of this until hearing that it had passed. But surely the organization that works for LGBT causes from within the Republican Party would have been following this legislation in a Republican controlled state from the beginning, right? Surely, they would be calling on their members to write and tell Arizona Republicans to oppose the bill. Granted, I am not dialed-in to the Arizona chapter, but I am on the National email list, and visit www.logcabin.org from time to time. With similar bills moving forward (backward?) in more states than just Arizona, I would have expected to see some calls to action, or at least public appeals to legislators to oppose such bills. There were no press releases or mention of any effort on LCR's part to oppose these bills in the days leading up to SB 1062's passage. But once it became a national hotbed, they were quick to put forward the pragmatic calls for veto. These statements glibly overlook the fact that it was their party that sponsored and approved the bill, or that while a few who voted for it changed their minds, there were more that continued to support it.

Had there not been a great public outcry against the bill, I doubt that its supporters would have changed their minds. And I am in no way naive enough to think that their reversals represent a "change of heart." This is pointed out pretty well by Jon Stewart on the Daily Show.   The politicians' answers show that they realized -not that the bill was wrong, but- that passage of the bill would result in consequences, and economic ones at that.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am in favor of the Log Cabin Republicans' mission, which states, in part "The mission of Log Cabin Republicans shall advance the interests of the gay and lesbian community within the Republican Party of the United States of America." (read the full statement on logcabin.org)

I have two objections. The mission statement speaks of supporting initiatives that promote non-discrimination. It unfortunately lacks a commitment to oppose initiatives that hinder equality and promote bigotry. I surmise that this is intentionally left out because the majority of those bills are created, sponsored, and approved by the Republican party.

My second objection is not with the statement itself, but with the action I see the group taking. They were silent while Republicans pushed SB1062 through the Arizona legislature, but brought out the trumpets when a few members changed their mind in response to being called out.  Now, I have no doubt that the Arizona chapter made calls to oppose the bill, but these efforts were not publicized because it put a spotlight on how strongly the Religious Right's agenda is still in control of the party.

The statements and actions that I have seen lead me to believe that LCR is more interested in changing LGBT perception of the GOP than they are in actually creating a more inclusive party.

Imagine There Were No Love Songs

Put yourself in this scene. You meet that person that you can't stop thinking about. You feel all mushy inside, as if the warmth of their smile melted your very bones.

You're walking on clouds, and you feel like singing.

But there are no love songs.

You hear the music, but the words are all wrong. The song is about someone else. The voice is not yours.

That's how it was growing up gay. 

And that is why Steve Grand is one of my heroes. He's not the first openly gay music artist. As I write this, I am listening to Naked Truth, an album by actor, musician, and AIDS activist, Keith Christopher. (1957-1998) Naked Truth was a profound inspiration for me at a time in my life that was filled with isolation and uncertainty. 

Last summer, Steve Grand released a self produced music video of his original song, All American Boy, and the video went viral. I posted my initial thoughts about it on this blog as well. 

There is a painful truth to the video, but the beauty of this production is that I can relate. (as the blog post indicates, a little too painfully close.)  His later single, Stay, is much more of an upbeat love song. 

And there is so much more that I look forward to seeing and hearing from this great performer.

That is why I am asking you to join me in supporting the Steve Grand All American Boy album project on Kickstarter. 

(image from Kickstarter) 

Click the link above or here to watch Steve Grand tell you about the journey from uploading his first video, the response to it, and how he is continuing to bring honest music that speaks to those who have had no love songs for so long. At any time during the video, click on the "K" kickstarter icon in the upper left to sign up and donate.